I suppose I always new I had been cut, but so had everybody else I knew so it was easy to ignore. When I went to college there were several guys who were born in Canada and Great Britain so I had a pretty good idea then. At 25 I finally asked my parents if I was cut and why they had done this too me. When they said yes, I had to leave, I had never felt so betrayed in my life. No matter what I thought before, there was no denying it now.
A few weeks later I was having lunch with my mom and she told me that when I was born the medical community thought it had real health benefits. Doctors were only human too and they were doing thier best. This was, after all, the time when a sore throat resulted in tonsillectomy routinely. My parents, well educated adults, also thought there were health benefits and no down side to all of these medical platitudes, after all they had read Dr. Spock, too. She told me that today there was great doubt as to the benefits and that she doubted they would have done this to me and she then apologized for mutilating me and causing me pain. She also said she wished she could take it back but that was not possible.
While it has helped me tremendously to know that they had acted in my best interest, I was left wondering what really had been lost. A search through the local medical library revealed almost nothing. Even books on human sexuality, sex therapy, physician’s manuals, Grey’s Anatomy and even Netter left more questions then answers. [Ed.: Most physicians texts depict circumcised penises as ‘normal’]
I went through a kind of grieving process with all the stages of denial, anger, betrayal bargaining and finally acceptance. I was OK for about 15 years or so.
Strangely, the internet was to be my next down fall. An “I’m feeling lucky” search on a search engine revealed (more…)