As part of my self imposed therapy, I write about my feelings and have composed this poem. I hope someone can benefit from some of these words.

    ATAVISM
    He said “It’s just a little nip and tuck,
    Nothing really to worry about.
    It’s best to get it over with now,
    He’ll never know without a doubt.”
    “A ‘lifetime of benefits’ can be realized.
    Trust me, we know what we say.
    And we would never do anything,
    That would cause harm in any way.”
    “For, you see, I took an oath
    When I was idealistic and young,
    So sign the form and consent
    And hand me over your newborn son.”
    And the benefits keep rolling in
    A panacea of health and gratification.
    Like the highest HIV rate
    Of any industrialized nation.
    Protection for every man-child
    In every sub-Saharan nation.
    As professional arrogance gone wild
    Substitutes surgery for education.
    And they know not what they take
    And they know not what they lose
    And they know not what they make
    And they no longer have the right to choose.
    Thus each is forever transfigured
    Into an Adonis of some stranger’s choosing.
    But would you cut off a toe or finger
    At the whim of society’s musing?
    How can you miss what you never knew?
    How can you feel loss or even mourn?
    Perhaps you should ask a man who
    Was born with only one arm.
    So they are the walking wounded
    Maimed by intentions of pure hue,
    By a people and a profession
    Who are afraid to know what is true.
    And for most, I can suppose
    It really is not so sorrowful,
    For the forces of denial and ignorance
    Are mighty god-damned powerful.
    But for those who suspect otherwise
    Who wonder what might really be lost,
    Who think that nature just might be wise
    This shunned minority suffers the real cost.
    There are more of them than you know
    Suffering their pain in stoic anonymity
    Lost, a teeming midway sideshow
    Faint light in the dark of blind conformity.
    Does the rest of the world laugh, appalled
    At our misandrous archaic ritual?
    Knowing a whole body in adult life
    As something to be enjoyed as sensual.
    It is obvious and in no doubt true
    A diet of hamburgers, fries and shakes,
    Is fine if you never see the whole menu
    Which lists caviar, Champaign and steaks.
    Thereby does it continue forward
    No atavistic reform in sight,
    Great grandfathers having no word
    On their descendant son’s plight.